We prepared for J's surgery as much as we can - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. We had run through the events as a family, with J and G especially so they know what is coming, and in our minds so we can be auto pilot as we go through it. Of course we were anxious, and afraid. We know how hard it is to have surgery and yet we were subjecting J to it. We prayed hard because we know it is for the better.
It was the longest day for us. When we went in for admission at PGH we were running late, traffic really is different nowadays. We were hungry and we found out that the nearest fast food we can access is a 15 minute walk away in the heat of noon. There was only one elevator running and we were on the top floor so stairs is not an option. And our list goes on. But we quickly recognized that these were all noise. We need to be still and calm our hearts. God is, after all, in control.
It wasn't easy seeing J cry because of the needles. It wasn't easy seeing him wheeled off to the OR and we can't go in. We can't calm him and hold his hand. We were a wreck as J was afraid. Our hearts racing, what are we doing? Oh God, what are we doing?
And then, tears finally flowed uncontrollably. We just bawled. All logic and emotions collide and we were at a lost of what to feel. But then, God met us where we were. We felt His embrace, His comfort. Everything will be all right. Johann is my child and he will be alright. God allowed us to cry and break down because simply, He is there with us. He is, and will always be, in control.
Then it happened. The surgery was faster than anticipated. No complications! Our extended family was there even when J was still in the OR, because they would like to be with us too, not just J. Then when J was slowly waking up, Daddy was at his side. That comforted him so much. Us too. When J was back at the room, he was hungry. No problems with his appetite. And we were flooded with prayers and well wishes for our family, aside from food.
God was there the whole time. Whether we were feeling afraid, or strong, or crying helplessly, God has met us where we were.